Was recently having a casual conversation with a fellow blogger on our very own 'orkut', when, after checking out my over 100 communities she asked if I was a feminist? Well, the answer was obvious with about 10 of my communities dedicated to feminist issues, but I chose not to be direct. I questioned her back on what was her definition of a feminist? "Men sharing a public toilet with women, vice-verse. Equality is what us feminists want, right?" She was right! (not about the toilets, but otherwise) And my next stupid rhetoric question was a predictable one with an equally predictable answer, "I'm a feminist too." She continued the conversation, "I came across this book that quoted how people felt feminists were usually lesbians. And how they were usually into dark elements and blah :P
Its quite stupid come to think of it. Are all politicians homosexual in that case?" This question left me feeling good, 'so I am not the only one, who faces the 'you are a lesbian' s***.'
Come to think of it, I can understand the logic such zanies come up with. Maybe they think that a woman feeling so strongly for another woman, standing up for her justice, her rights, being so emotionally charged for, without even knowing her most of the times, could make these buffoons think of such deep aggressive feelings turning sexual as well. I am not against homosexuality, I respect all sexualities with a true heart.
Understanding the logic behind lesbians, I come to gays. There are many men, who are feminists and trust me I do not look up to them as 'Oh My God!! Look at him...he is a man yet he is standing for feminist issues..blah blah blah' (yeah right!!...huh!) Why should one look up to a man like this? Why is it treated as a BIG DEAL for a man to be sensitive? And if he is, ha ha.. 'HE IS GAY'...now here is where my key question lies....Women feminists becoming lesbians, I have sadly managed to stoop myself low enough to understand the probable cockamamie system of logic behind that. But on the grounds of the same logic, how do 'sensitive male-feminists' become gays? If they are 'feminists' then gays????
Strange are the ways airheads think! I am sure there are people who may go to the extent of insulting these men by saying their usual 'saalon ne choodi pehan ke rakkhi hai....namard saale!' If there are many of you, nodding your head in denial, take a reality check, we still have people who talk like this, think that way and force me into discovering a harsher term than 'MCP's for them.
I have written this in my earlier post on 'feminism' ( http://nabilazaidi.blogspot.com/2007/03/what-women-want.html ), that why would one celebrate only 'Women's Day', why not a 'Men's Day' and the answer to it is simple, 'Men do not have breasts!' If I go on to elaborate this statement of mine in connection with women related issues, the post shall be never ending. But then, I am still left unanswered with an intelligent reasoning for feminists being homosexuals, be it a man or a woman? Why should being sensitive be classified as 'gay' for men, and for women, 'oh it is natural' WHY?? Being hypocritical about issues, people, events, behaviours is still understandable, but emotions? All of us have them, we may be blinded by faiths and beliefs that are in real terms non existent, like that of 'MCPs', all that 'men are superior' or even 'do not do this, you are a woman', these are silly beliefs which lead to a thousand sins and increasing female victims.
If some people stand up for these victims, why should the rest be judgemental about it and make personal opinions!! Why should people be opinionated and judgemental at all? Why should a feminist be a homosexual? In a survey on 'Do feminists hate men?', it was found 25% positively agreed and 75% denied. The 25% hating men may not necessarily be homosexuals, but have valid reasons to hate men. There are allot of times when I hate men totally. Yes maybe we feminists do hate men at times, but as you see, most of us (75%) also understand that not everybody is the same, every human is different from the other. When the sufferers are not being opinionated, then why you?
If you're a Feminist....you ought to be Homosexual!!
Posted by Nabila Zehra Zaidi on Monday, May 7, 2007
Labels: Feminism
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44 comments:
hey wowwwwwwwwww r u writer or what good blog and excellent post but i am feminist then.....
Hmmmm... I guess I would qualify for 'man-feminist' tag. I've been jokingly called gay for that once and I've earned the nick-name 'Woo-man' because of that, but its all in good fun. I've come to understand thats its more for my out-spoken nature about these things, rather than what I actually say, that I'm called that. People will agree with me 100% but still call me 'Woo-man' !! So big deal. And i'm sure half of the people calling male/female feminists gay might just be pointing that sometimes somethings do seem/sound gay-ish. :-) And they might not actually mean to offend us.
And also... more importantly... LESBIANS ARE COOL !! Ask any guy !! ;-)
heehee... snicker snicker...
Well said, doll :D
I was searching for feminism on Google. My search accidentally ended up as "feminism synonym" And the first article on the page was lesbian: Definition, Synonyms and Much More from Answers.com
Meaning #1: of female homosexuality Synonym: sapphic XD
Its gonna take time before people understand what sexism really is though. Men are not enemies to a feminist nor is a feminist anti-men. But with more radical feminists like you and me...We shall start World War 3 - battle of the sexes. Speak to the masses in their language and make them understand :P
Brilliant work. :D
it is sad that when men stand up for women's rights, they are tagged as being gay and when women do the same, they are tagged lesbians...weird world!! i guess eunuchs stand a better chance!!!
I don't bother answering stupid questions... && I also never heard of "feminist." I wouldv'e thought someone who hates women or is against women lol:]]
@ protegeoflife ..... Thank you very much! and yes I am a Freelance Writer :)
@ ainz ..... Well dear 'woo-man' .... there is nothing offending about homosexuality .... so if one calls you that...BIG DEAL....huh...but the point here is of being opinionated...as you say... 'sometimes somethings do seem/sound gay-ish.', do you not think that you maybe talking losely about yourself in that case...? Maybe people need to just look for the appropriate words other than 'gay-ish' for 'normal' people talking sensible shit!
And as for 'lesbians being cool' ...it is just another form of sexual orientation....being 'hetrosexual' was never all that 'cool' :P
@ stoned gray ..... It is sad to see what you found out in your research...It is just a world wide phenomena...a world wide 'stupid belief'..which is depressing...And I really hope, people do come to understand what people like you and me already do understand...no body is against anybody or their sexual orientations do not depend on the issues they believe in .... Thanks!!
@ neo .... Bang on!! Eunuchs definitely stand a better chance... atleast 'then' they would probably be looked up with respect and for once people may not be judgemental about them atleast...
@ nefty .... LOL...nefty you really need to know more about this 'stupid' topic...:)
I seriously don't understand the login behind calling Feminist Men & Women as gays and lesbians repectively...
Well its not only me you know... I've found myself and others in situations where we sounded gay-ish... so its a much general term. Also, Something being/sounding gayish doesn't necessarily mean it has something to do with gay people. Its more of a 'type' of thing... like you know... you can sound 'fundamentalist', 'nationalist', 'stupid', 'metrosexual' and 'gay' among many other things. Gay people don't have a patent on gay-ness... Everyone in this world is both straight and gay... just depends which one of the two dominates you.
And I don't think its an in-appropriate word. You say, 'Maybe people need to just look for the appropriate words other than 'gay-ish' for 'normal' people talking sensible shit!'. First off... gay/gay-ish is as normal as straight or normal itself. There is nothing in-appropriate with it. Hey.. if it sounds gay... it sounds gay. It also depends on the person who is listening. Some people might have a different word for it. So big deal.... People react to different things in different ways.
Though it can get bugging... at the end of the day... it doesn't really matter... its really of no consequence...
Last but not the least... Maximum people in this world are straight (or at least pretend to be), so lesbians (for guys)are infact the coolest !! ;-)
for the love of all that is hershey, change you blog color...your comment link is invisible.
@ Hershey ....for the love of hershey and his blog...the template has been changed....I really should not try being too adventurous ;)
@ Ainz .... O.K.!! Now...you are confusing me with your confusions...you too are fluxing a person's mentality, thought process with the person's sexuality!! You are right when you say being gay is normal...yes it definitely is! But what I have been wanting to question is not how normal or abnormal are people's perspectives about other people's sexual orientations...but why would you call somebody talking in a certain manner 'gay-ish'?? What is 'gay-ish', afterall? And a woman talking in a similar manner is not termed as 'lebian-ish'?? WHY?? It is a matter of being opinionated, 'typing' a person's mannerism to a certain kind of sexuality....Why would you not make an oppsite statement for a homosexual talking in a 'non-gayish' manner (whatever that maybe)? The truth is... homosexuality, as you put it is rare, and in our Indian society, it is still an unacceptable issue. Hence, the 'oh he is so gay!' followed by a fit of laughter is a joke, is a way of insulting the other person...call it gay call it sissy...it is one and the same thing! All I am saying is, I am sure we can come up with better terms than 'gay-ish', because when you say 'gay-ish', you are actually forming an 'opinion' about gays (gay is somebody who is attracted towards the same sex...now what the hell is that sexual attraction got to do with his thoughts his 'own mind'), that that is how they are....there is something known as indiviualism!! Is that asking too much?
@ Anshul ....Yes...Same here!!
hey nice post ....
i have ryten somethin related 2 thiss ome 1 1/2 yr back..
http://oranges4u.blogspot.com/2005/08/woman-is-gods-best-creation.html
chk this out ...
hapy bloggin...
Well its highly illogical to call men who take interest in female related issues as 'gay' prceisely for the reason you have given in your blog. It would have made even 10% sense had they been too much interested in issues related to men!!
And anywayz not too much importance should be given to the talks which do not have logic involved behind them!!
Although I disagree with the eye-cathing title, the stuff u wrote is convincing.
As you said every human is different, men and women are made differently by God. Different means just different. Its not a grading. you can't hold one superior, but u can't deny there being different. Being different is no justification for one dominating over other. Many people are so strong in holding the equality that they go par this. Things like sharing toilets and supporting topless women are more like erasing the obvious differences than holding equality. If you call holding equality as feminist, then y it isn't called "masculist"?? Homosexuality is not same as equality!
Now do u call me feminist?
i was nodding vertically :>
Weirder and weirder...
"Me haff no idea"
Await general better comment later :$
***
Ehm, no. My ego would like to be enslaved to some persons. {No. I am not in love. I was. But that's past. Hopefully. This is just a statement.}
well im anti feminist!.. i think they are all hypocrites!.. and i kno that this statement can land me a bit of a tiff but ive stood by it while ive been slapped by numerous women and been called terms such as inhuman, mysogynistic, jerk and i still stand for it!..
feminists demand equal rights.. but they STILL take advantage of the allowances made to women by the govt etc etc.
reserved seats in busses trains etc.. quotas n the lot.
if women demand a 50% reservation in insitutions thats fine, half the population get bitchy every month.. but RESTRICT it to 50%!!.. dont intrude upon the remaining which is ment for boys!.. split EVERYTHING down the middle.. ull demand that women be treated AT PAR.. that is the way men are treated.. but all i see everywhere is preferential treatment..
im not against it.. im for it.. but then just dont call it "EQUALITY".. cuz thats not what it is..
@ writersbloc ..... No...you shall not land in any sort of tiff for this or be called a 'bloody mysogynistic'...because I agree with you totally....if there was a need for a whirl of strong wind of feminism to be blown at a time when women were being mistreated, then today we have people who 'over hype' this issue and take undue advantage of it too....and this is about the 'bad side' of the human nature.... take castiesm and Mandal II in India as an example for that matter...we know people tend to misuse their 'benefits'...
Ofcourse there are women too, who misuse the mere reality that they are 'women'...look at the smallest of things around you...there will be women who will simply look into your eye and pass that wonderfully innocent and seductive smile and make their way to the counter in a long que....but when I talk of equality as a feminist...I talk of equality in terms of respect, dignity and 'rightful rights!!'...every human should get what they deserve.... feminism was needed because of one sex being too severely dominated by the other...if from the very beggnning women and men respected each other and did not have ego clashes or what people now like to call 'the war of the sexes'...there would be no problems relating to 'I am the man and I am superior to you, hence I can say and do anything to you!!'...physical sexual mental and emotional abuse are major issues which can kill a person from deep within...and I am sure you can not deny that...and standing and speaking for something that maybe right and ONLY demands the deserving respect in the society....not to be eve teased while walking down the street...Is it too much to ask for when I say women want to walk dance sing on the road and dress in whatever manner that they can without fearing a bunch of 'wolves' ripping her soul and clothes apart, together.... Equality of respect and deserving rights!! nothing extra in comparision to men...thats it!! I shall call it the fault of the system for making policies that do protect women, but at the same time these very policies often go against men...hence we land up being where we started from...'one sex dominating the other'!
@ Prince ... yes I shall wait ;)
@ D ... :D
@ Saucy ..... Yes homosexuality is very differrent from feminism and should not be treated as one thing! As for feminism not being called 'masculinist' is because that women are dominated by men and have not been getting the equal rights that they deserve...thus, we talk of equality for women!
@ Niraj ...you have hit just the right point!! People are often so blinded by the sometimes 'exaggerated feminism' that they forget that there are issues related to men too, which need to be looked into....!
@ Devil's Advocate .... Thanks!! I read yours too...nice! :)
If you want the logic, it's not that complicated. It has its roots in the misandrist image of feminists. This image was created by early feminists, in the beat generation, when homosexuality of both gender were considered more of an action of rebellion than sexual preference. You must have of course read de beauvoir, and she very clearly explains how the act of sex is the very basic reason for men to think that they are superior. And how she loved Satre!
Even the misandric image is a perception mistake, evident from the stats you quoted. That's natural when one generalises. When you talk against male attitudes, it's easy to think that it's against males you are talking, because both are inseparable, especially for males with that attitude, and for the females who support them. I used to be a feminist too, till I realised there are no feminists. Chauvenism is chauvenism. And it's only responsible individulism that can solve individual problems. Every social problem is an individual problem, and the solution can only be found at an individual level.
That's my two cents. :)
Whoa!! Very well written!!
U know what! im nothing when compared to what u write!!
this is an amazing piece. people shud give it a thought!!
btw i too have linked ur blog
peace & love
JeeVY
i am not of the opinion that men who fight for women's right are gay,because our society has clinches attached to these topics so we all follow them ,
and u write brilliantly ,after all its not all blaaha
any KPS connection...??
"silly beliefs which lead to a thousand sins and increasing female victims"
this is definitely worth a thought..
awesome post!
sharad
@ Sharad ..... Hhhhmmm....thank you!
@ Avi .... KPS?? No abbreviations please!! :)
@ Daman .... Talk about what all the society clinches to...I can only hope and wait for the society to open up and understand such matters and people....Thanks!
@ Jeevy ..... That is called 'modesty' from your end.... Thanks anyway!! ;)
@ Jubin ..... Being a feminist does not a woman against the entire male species or even chauvinistic...it depends on the indiviual...indiviualism is the main point and all should understand that....maybe then people will stop generalising. I am a strong believer and follower of indiviualism and I could not agree more with you on that point!! And yes, your two penny response was worth more, Thanks!! :)
'Men sharing a public toilet with women' please explain....why? for equal rights?
great job....keep it up!
Nicely put and nicely written -- I'm unsure whether or not I'm feminist cuz quite frankly, I don't care. My opinions are my opinions and it doesn't reflect the opinions of others. But if I get labeled to be feminist, don't crucify me for it... what you said about homosexuals and gay ppl are also so spot on!
wow well written but where is another gem of ur intellect
@ ckatz2cool .... lol..yes...err..almost!! :P
@ bleeding black tears .... yes sera my love...you have been blogrolled :)
@ satwik .... thank you very much !! :)
@ princess banter ..... Thanks Princess ..... I love that attitude...your opinions are yours and they do not reflect the opinions of others...absolutely right girl!! ;)
@ protegeoflife .... Thanks...but I would definitely like to be enlightened on the 'another gem'....??
Ain't nobody said that this post was stupid.
I honestly do do not understand this feminism bussiness. I really dont dont. I mean, if my basic assumption is everyone IS equal, where is the need to give anyone any special consideration?
Incidentally, whats your take on the mini surprise in UP elections?
well nabila, the problem begins when we decide to define things: put them in neat little slots in our head - feminists and gays and lesbians and whatever else! Apparently, it's not so simple to classify people. And it's very, very difficult to say where one category ends and the other begins. For some people the need to make these classifications is imperative. But we know life's not black and white; it's mostly grey.
no harm in being adventurous...I go on a wild ride every 2 weeks I guess...even now, I just changed my template..was bored with the old one...will change again in a few weeks....the key is to keep the text color in contrast with the background.
In a country like ours...things will take sum more time....well perhaps sum more eons to change or rather realise. Live wid it or screw dem all n go ahead wid ur beliefs...who cares!!!
hi nabila...waiting for ur new post...
There are few people like you, I suppose.
People don't often have the guts to even say that homosexuality isn't some kind of a disease.
I respect your views on feminism.
Well this theory is indeed interesting...come think of it..it may not neccesarily be very general and true..but there might be such cases..
bUt still...labelling them all as homosexual isnt cool..
A well written post!
u alive?
@ nefty....not yet...!!
@ dipthought...I am glad you consider all euqual...but not all think like you....as for the u.p. election surprise...it was no surprise...very predictable...if you read the previous post...will be righting about 'mayaraj' soon..!!
@ hershey...Ill keep your tips in mind ;)
@ me...I agree with you!!
@ tuhin...I'de rather go ahead with my beliefs..!!
@ niraj...very soon..!!
@ lucifer....I hope you are one of those few too... :)
@ standby...Very true...'it is not cool'...thanks!!
@ neo...YES I AM!! simply very very very busy guys!! will be back with my new post very very soon!!
HOPE EVERYBODY HAS NOT FORGOTTEN ME??
Hi Nabila! Yes, I would be interested in Blank Noise's Lko chapter.
A very good post..and "BIG DEAL" to those ppl who think a woman standing up for the rights of another woman has to be a lesbian..Yuck Yuck to their thinking..!!
where do i contact u nabz?
hope u r well, long time no posts from u......
meanwhile i tagged u , hope u don't mind it pls visit my blog for details
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