Still a Kid...

on Monday, April 30, 2007

Yes I am still a kid no matter how sensible people may assume I am and be mistaken about my the end of the day I miss playing in the evening with friends...cycling around the colony with frineds..trying those 'who can take that steep turn on the slopes better' and being 'oh so carefree' and conscious, both at the same time. School, regular attendence, sincerety and seiousness for exams and is all missing now from life. These maybe things that I can bring back in life. Can I not go and play out now? Can I not cycle now and I am still expected to be a good student, both at home and college. Not like I am not carefree now, I am, but still something is missing?

It was 10 years back when I came to this country, how wonderful and eventful has my childhood been since then. I am sure everybody's has been. And then we all afterall grow up to be mature and sensible indiviuals because of every new lesson we learn from our observations and experiences, and there is more of it to come. But does that answer my questions satisfactorily? Why do I say 'something' is missing from life? Is it the innocense and ignorance? Is this the reason why great men said 'Ignorance is bliss'? But I just learnt 'Ignorance is the biggest sin'...then what is it?

I say I am carefree now, but I know that was not a natural process, it is something put on...I have made myself carefree. I know anything in extremes is not good and I do not remember being too caring about something or somebody too, then why? Is it the 'memorable childhood' that has made me like this? I know my growing up years were not very felicitous, but were they so bad that I would want to ignore every sensitive issue, topic or conversation. Am I afraid about something?

Yeeeaaahhh!! I am afraid. I feel proud when someone calls me brave and level headed, but why such misconceptions? Oh wait! I just forgot... it is the mask, not me. But wait this is tangling my thoughts more. I have always wanted to 'be me' and I know I am 'being me'...then are these two faces of the same person? There are just so many moments when I feel I have too many faces, too many personalities, but later I realise 'NO! It is just ME'.

I know I am not lost in my thoughts, the good or bad events of my life, not blinded by faith of any sort or even confused about people and life. Maybe my buying baloons last night for myself just brought me back my childhood. I just wanted to be the kid again, carefree ( in that way ), ignorant, playful, but sadly I was brought back to my reality too soon and hence this confused frustrated post!! >>sigh<< I am going back to play with my balloons in my lonely room, with no friends and glass tables to break ( I always did that as a kid, specially while playing with my favorite big balloons in the house ;) ). That will take me back where I want to be right now. Will come back to my so called 'aesthesia' when I want to, because I will be me, whichever me whenever I want to be so!

And yes...I am not putting on a mask of any kind, anytime...I was just confused, and now that I have spat all my confusion on my blog and made myself clear, I am off...>>phew<< (what a relief!!huh..) :-)

The Changing Face of Lucknow - Part I

on Saturday, April 28, 2007

Today is a big day for this famous city of culture, etiquettes and Nawabs. Today is the fifth phase of polling.

Barely 50% voting for the elections this time, but definitely we have had a 100% talking about them, cribbing about the ruling party and guessing the 'next ONE'...Well even I am a part of the other 50%...not voting...cribbing and guessing...Which party, this time has managed to scare the maximum poor souls with hired gunmen into voting for them? Who has managed to lure people with hope with their fake promises and their rattling speeches?Is it the 'Cycle', BSP, Sonia's party or the patriotic party with the national flower??

In my opinion and in many others, it is NOT the 'cycle', Mulayam Singh Yadav, unfortunately will not get much out of the support shown by the Bacchans or Amar Singh. He may have an advantage of Muslim votes, which BJP lacks, yet unsuccessful 'reigning' years in Lucknow has not left the state happy enough to bring him back in power. BJP....hhhhmmm...very successfully won the Mayoral elections, a few months back, but has the C.D. fiasco done any damage? OH hell yes!! In fact I remember reading this interview of Rajnath Singh, where he proudly avers that his party leaders are the only party leaders who have no personal negative records and the very next day in the very same paper the first page was full of BJP's 'Anti-Muslim' C.D.. But I wonder, does it make any difference?? Either way, they did not have much support from the Muslims. Now coming to Congress...ruling the country...but why does it fail to gain enough votes in U.P.? It did give an extremely tough ride to the BJP during the Mayoral elections and losing it with a very thin margin against BJP, but would it win this time? It could and I like that party so it would be great if it does win, after all the only party which has the maximum educated people involved with it, comparably.

But sadly, U.P. elections are usually not very surprising because in the past few years it has been noticed that it has been a Mulayam v/s Mayawati war. They both try and rip off each other every time during elections and the other one is elected. It is like an alternate game between the two. Once Mulayam then next Mayawati and then Mulayam again and then Mayawati...U.P. elections may sound very interesting and important to the country but have been almost stereotyped to the SP and the BSP...So obviously, Mayawati has maximum chances to come back into power, keeping the last few elections in mind. Also, after Mulayam, state folks feel Mayawati is the next best option for them. Where you have a Mulayam, during whose constituency, the crime rate graph increases, with Mayawati in power, you do see a considerable change in terms of safety and security, which is the prime concern of any state.

This was my analysis of the U.P. Elections. Will have to wait and watch, how far have I won in this guessing game... And will the face of Uttar Pradesh change this time??

Team Blue taking a Breather....?

on Wednesday, April 4, 2007 had to happen, if not today then a few days later, after the official BCCI meeting - CHAPPEL HAS RESIGNED! And come to think of it, most are happy, actually I wonder who is not?

Shot sure Indian Team performance has been in a deplorable state for the past few years now. Looking at their performance profile, one sided-ly, I would blame Greg Chappel for it, for the simple reason that the players are still the same, not much has changed. Captain changed, well...we know why? Thanks to the Ganguly - Greg tiff!

No coach has ever so publicly insulted and spoken about the players and their performances. Was Chappel a good player? Undoubtedly! Did he prove to be a good coach? Certainly not. Leaders and Coaches have a responsibility of giving out the best and unfortunately Team India presented one of its worst (speaking expectantly, specially after their performance at the last WC). Greg Chappel managed to influence the Team quite negatively. It happened from the very beginning, from the very start - I lost faith in him , his coaching abilities from the very day I started reading about his dissatisfaction, unhappiness, relationships with all the players more, than his fresh ideas and plans for the already-one-of-the best cricket teams. He was media friendly but sadly it turned back into his face, giving him as well as the Team a bad image. Sachin Tendulkar, finally decided to come out and speak his mind, though this was not taken in very good taste by the BCCI and the BCCI Secretary went on to say that if he had any problems, he should have come in front of the board and expressed it. I will choose to refrain from comparing and questioning back the Secretary of similar thoughts whenever Chappel did the same, but..huh...anyway. Coming back to Chappel, I lost faith in him not just because he failed to hog the media light positively, but because he failed to influence and motivate his players positively. Like I said, he failed to fulfill his responsibilities entirely.

Sounding too harsh? Want me to be a little generous... well I must say that at least the India Cricket Team got better in its test matches. One days were 'sad'!! Truly speaking, the feat against Bermuda was no feat! Our team was capable of allot more, but the spirit, the want, aggression, the coaching and yes, the captain ship was piteous. I do not intend to blow off the Indian Cricket Team and its associates because they did not perform well. Every team has its 'bad days', but definitely not 'bad years'. ( I tried being generous)

Now, I wonder who will want to come and coach our team. Apart from the bad performance, the whole scene at BCCI, internal politics (which is everywhere but not brought out so openly), etc. does not sound very attractive to any ex - International Player. According to Jadeja, Coaches from overseas have not been of much help to our team in the International Cricket scene and that we should have our own senior players , Ganguly, Tendulkar or Dravid not only lead but one year or two years later when they decide to hang their boots, should go ahead and coach their own team with several new strategies, or as the blogger says, the Indian Cricket Team needs to concentrate more on home matches and gear themselves. Well...both sound amazing to me and if applied might just work, but the curiosity is rising in me and everybody else - Who is next? and also... What is next? Team India - full of surprises!!