Are you in Love.....??

on Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Are you loosing yourself?? Spending too much of your personal time thinking about that 'special someone' , trying to be what he/she would like you as, guessing what he/she likes, dislikes, blah blah blah....Guess what? U R NOT IN LOVE!!

Yes. You are not in love! Not when I think from my angle. We have heard and said it all, 'You should accept the person as he/she is', and gladly there are a few who strictly follow that rule. But, how many of us actually can fight the affects of our 'love hormones'? Most of us can not, hence, this is love!!

And one fine day, you realise, after coming far in your relationship, what am I doing here? What had happened to me? I gave my inner self for somebody? You start missing have almost lost yourself! Why? Because we wanted somebody to love us!

We are all hungry for love, then why wait for a special someone and change yourself to love. We know love is not conditional, yet we behave like that. If I ask you right now, who is your ideal woman/man? You will have a ready answer for this. You have already thought of 'what kind of' a person you want, you want to love. Is this not conditional? And then many will say, 'Love just happens'! I question you again, why should it just happen? Why can it not be a part of you? Why do you have to search and wait to fall in love with that special someone? And then we agree that everybody is special in someway or the other. Is this not proof enough, WE ALL ARE SPECIAL! Then why look and select? If you want love, so does the other person. Why can't we JUST LOVE? Why should it 'happen'? Why can't it be a habit? Is it not a part of me? Why, today we look for reasons to love? Why can't we simply be in love with love?

I am in love with love. And yes, it is a very beautiful feeling! It keeps you happy, wanted, loved, satisfied and secure! I do not hope and dream of a 'knight in a shining armour' to come and sweep the world off my feet, but I certainly hope that the world will wake up and realise what true love is? why do we love ? and why do we want love? Love is something which as natural as your daily morning natural callings, reproduction and sex, and all of this is common between the humans as well as animals. So, if you find the answer for yourself, you have found it for the rest of the living world.

I have not found those answers, and do not bother to do so as well, because I do not need answers to explain me love, I do not want reasons and introspection to love. Remember, I am in love and when you are in love, you do not care about the rest. So do I, all I care about is love! I love the pig outside my house, I love my family, I love the man I see everyday at the auto stand, I love myself and yes, I do not scruple in declaring that because loving yourself does not make you selfish or self obsessed, it just gives you more 'reasons' to love (to the ones who reason and love). With reasons or without, just love, because its all we need and it is all we can give to somebody!

So, I LOVE YOU!! and this is all I have. Will you accept and reciprocrate?


just browsing.. said...

hi blogger, im just some random person going through some random blogs n i came across urs. well a nice write up. to some extent i agree with u. but sometimes its good to have reasons or to question as to understand what is going on n what is not. but accepting the other person totally the way tht person not quite possible. when it comes to habits not everyone can adjust with everything...change in self for someone else, not to extremes, is fine i suppose.

well i jst felt like commenting cuz i found this blog quite interesting. :)

Shankar said...

Interesting perspective indeed :)

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

Thank you mr. wanderer! I respect your opinions and I am glad that you respect mine(hopefully...isn't it?).

Thanks Shanker!

indgarg said...

went thru ur blog for the first time...nice one...keep posting

Prince Kazarelth said...

Hello there!
Thanks a lot for commenting on my blog.

But, I have some things to say to you.
Do try to understand that these are advices because you are quite new!

1.) Please do not write posts or comments in SMS language! You might think it's "cool" and "the it thing" and such, but that is best left to your Orkut-ting or better yet, to your cellphone.
At least, try not to comment like that on posts written in proper english.

2.) UPDATE!! Update frequently. I can see that in Jan and Feb you had just one post per month! When I started off, I had at least 2 posts per day! Start off fast. Get readers. Slow down. Everything will be fine!


{Now that the icky part is over:-}

Hehe. Nice post from an experienced person, I suppose. H'm...

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

@ indgarg...thank you for visiting and commenting!

@ kazareth,...hey thank you for those wonderful advices. Shall definitely work on them. But, sadly I can not be very regular because of time constraints... I will try my level best though! Thanks for dropping in some very useful comments! Appreciate it!

Hershey said...
you really are a professional freelance writer aren't you?
I am still in the amateur phase..freelance for a few magazines on and off..
well, from your post, I can sum up that the what you described in the first paragraph is more of an infatuation.
very few people actually fall in love at the first sight like that..

instead of analyzing your post further,
I rather just end it here by giving my views on this.."love"
first off... I am the king of one can outrank me there.
and yet..I fail to believe in this love that people seem to describe.

love would be the emotion you feel when you think that, not only is the person special to you, but you would die to protect him/her.

pathetic naa.
good love would be when you don't need to SHOW that you are committed by getting married or something like that...just being there when he/she needs you and giving your full support..thats good love.

not bad,
best love, when you dream of a future together, as a couple..think of kids and a nice house etc etc..
and not fantasy scenarios..


combine the three together..guess thats true love.

gotta be satisfied physically mentally and emotionally.

and oh..if you are changing yourself for your lover..then thats useless, they should love you for who you wouldn't hurt to lose a few pounds or change other minor things...but don't go and join a motorcycle club just because they are in it too..thats just silly.

so you love all?
you cancerian by any
i might say that I love all(almost) but even there we have degrees of may love the man you see everyday at the auto stand..but if a situation occurs where one of your family members are in trouble(god forbid) and that will go help your family..thus proving that your love for family is greater.
now, if only we can find someone whose love will be atleast equal, if not greater, than the love we have for our family.

god I chatter a lot don't I...

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

hhhmmm...was that longer than my post Hershey?? :P

Anyway...Thank you so much for your views. 'Love' your idea of 'love - the three stages. And I will strongly agree with you on the degrees of love point. But then, there are many of us who are escapists and find extreme thoughts easier and clearer...'I love this' 'I do not love this'! Maybe we need to understand that loving is actually more normal than how we try to talk about it. An overlyhyped emotion - as many may say, but holds valid enough excuses to be hyped too. The only emotion that is considered as complexed as normal it is....maybe it is the fear of not getting enough love that stops us from giving out the little love we maybe capable of.

And yes, I am not a romantic at all, so my perspective about love remains extremely general rather than romantic, as it is usually considered to be. Also, if astrology helped everybody to believe in 'loving all', the world would definitely be much more 'lovelier'!!

nikhil said...

thnx for commenting on my blog! love is not immortal or if u truly love a person , u shld be willing to change for that person.

Nabila said...

change not to the extent that you loose your ownself....positive changes are always welcome!!

Hershey said...

comment could be longer than the post...I have a knack of doing that are new, you will get used to it soon enough...

quite possible, hadn't thought of it in that basically we don't give love to everyone for fear of losing whatever little we have?
I wonder why is it necessary to have others love you..sure it is nice to have someone who cares for you..but its not a necessity.
too bad society thinks otherwise..

well, I am a romantic..but..I am an intelligent with the mind first...then with the heart..gotta think before you decide to fall you know..if you plan out how you are going to fall, atleast it won't hurt that much..

ick..the thought sickens me..the whole planet..nah..has to be some hate to counter love..everything can't be too sickly sweet.

yin and yang..and all that.
can you imagine how it would be when instead of jsut a good morning people go, "good morning bob, I love ya"

if you wanna make the world is what one should do...

1.Take all the nukes in the world.
2. Tie them all together.
3. Aim them towards the sun.
4. Fire.

killing two birds with one stone.
Sun is destined to run out of fuel..this way you are helping it burn a bit longer, and no nukes, so peace.
Also kill the people who know how to make nukes, and destroy their work..or you can bribe em..
sheesh..mind wanders too much..better leave before I start about how to rule the world.

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

mmmhhhhhmmmmm....intersting hershey...but again...when i say may not neccesserily express it all the time, making your good morning wishes sound utterly sugar coated, but simply not hold negativities and give out only positive vibes...'general loving' makes it easy. I wish I could kill all the nuke makers and fire all the nukes...but the nukes are a result of our insecurities...we have not learnt how to be satisfied with self...and love ourself. Loving oneself is considered being selfish and self obsessed...huh....maybe I am, and I mentioned that in my post as well...if I can give love to others I am sure I can give it to myself as well.

Kal^^C said...

After reading the post all I felt was some one was reading my inner mind. All I cud feel was expressed in a perfect way.

Loved reading your views on Love. Keep penning(cud I use dis word?) more... C ya

Prince Kazarelth said...

Hey! That's nice... It's good to see some people who actually like critical analysis like I do :D

Niraj said...

hi nabila..well I am dumbstruck after seeing ur style of writing...its just mind-blowing and regrading your views what you feel is absolutely wonderful to know coz i think thats always the way its should be...but i always thought that this is the ideal case...No one can reach upto that level in love...but you have reached there..So i now am a fan of not only ur writing but ur capabilities as well..
Well My experience of love has not been that memorable till now but yes the one learning that I have been able to make out is that never expect anything in return when you are in love..Coz only when you start expecting does love gave the example that you are in love with the cow, the person standing at the bus were able to do that only coz you did not expect anything in return from do not expect a cow or the person standing at the bus stop to care for you or to love you back!!!So, if u are able to reach a level in love where you do not start expecting anything in return then yes you can say that you are in LOVE!!!

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

@ Kal C...I am glad we share the same views on 'love', hope on other subjects too :)

@ Prince...Yes and I welcome you to critically analyse and comment on my blog!

@ Niraj...Thank you so much for such wonderful kind words. I am sure, you too will soon be able to love 'ideally' (though emotions are never ideal, they differ beautifully from person to person), specially since you belive in such love! All the best!

Saucy said...

Love is all we need here!!!
I've written and read much on the topic.
Thre's a movie tittled Anwar. Every character in the movie was sad. but all of them had on single reason. They all needed love!
To be loved is such a joy that hides all reasons to be sad. Think of when you put ur head in ur mother's lap and u jst closed ur eyes. Thousand worries that were in ur minds would vanish for those moments. I feel this everytime I visit home.
You might be intrested to read following

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

Saucy...yeah...I really want to watch that movie, will do that soon.

I wemt through a;ll the links that you suggested, and they are quite similar...seems like everybody is confused about..! :P

Saucy said...

Wat exactly do u mean by this.?
We all are here sorting out these imp. things which are not very often talked about in our normal everyday hectic life.
And its very good that we can assist each other in this.

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

I will quite agree that we are asissting each other clear our inner confusions. We are not born with clear understanding of all emotions...ideal or not! :)

Ye manzilen !! said...

The last time that I checked Miss - there is nothing called LOVE......

It never will, it never are a kiddo, you have miels to go, so be careful. Do not chase these illusions...

My 2 cents worth...

Tuhin said...

Love is fake wen its 'U' or 'ME'...Love is true wen its 'US' or 'WE'

whr u disapprd Nabz...u nt in orkut also...hw do i keep in tuch...I hope u still rember me

Dexter said...

hey you are an expert blogger yet so humble that you appreciated my poetry...i like it...
and your work is very good,especially this post..

Nabila Zehra Zaidi said...

@ yeh manzillen...I will call that your belief...for anything that is not tangible...its existence is always a belief...some may believe in it and some may not... :)

@ Tuhin....I am sorry was irregular because of I am back...

@ Dexter...Thank you very much for your kind words but I am truly an amateaur, very new. You should check out the links on my blog...there are some amazing bloggers there!

mathew said...

nice interpretation..well asking for unconditional love itself is conditional..isnt it!! ;-P