Are you in Love.....??

Are you loosing yourself?? Spending too much of your personal time thinking about that 'special someone' , trying to be what he/she would like you as, guessing what he/she likes, dislikes, blah blah blah....Guess what? U R NOT IN LOVE!!

Yes. You are not in love! Not when I think from my angle. We have heard and said it all, 'You should accept the person as he/she is', and gladly there are a few who strictly follow that rule. But, how many of us actually can fight the affects of our 'love hormones'? Most of us can not, hence, this is love!!

And one fine day, you realise, after coming far in your relationship, what am I doing here? What had happened to me? I gave my inner self for somebody? You start missing yourself....you have almost lost yourself! Why? Because we wanted somebody to love us!

We are all hungry for love, then why wait for a special someone and change yourself to love. We know love is not conditional, yet we behave like that. If I ask you right now, who is your ideal woman/man? You will have a ready answer for this. You have already thought of 'what kind of' a person you want, you want to love. Is this not conditional? And then many will say, 'Love just happens'! I question you again, why should it just happen? Why can it not be a part of you? Why do you have to search and wait to fall in love with that special someone? And then we agree that everybody is special in someway or the other. Is this not proof enough, WE ALL ARE SPECIAL! Then why look and select? If you want love, so does the other person. Why can't we JUST LOVE? Why should it 'happen'? Why can't it be a habit? Is it not a part of me? Why, today we look for reasons to love? Why can't we simply be in love with love?

I am in love with love. And yes, it is a very beautiful feeling! It keeps you happy, wanted, loved, satisfied and secure! I do not hope and dream of a 'knight in a shining armour' to come and sweep the world off my feet, but I certainly hope that the world will wake up and realise what true love is? why do we love ? and why do we want love? Love is something which as natural as your daily morning natural callings, reproduction and sex, and all of this is common between the humans as well as animals. So, if you find the answer for yourself, you have found it for the rest of the living world.

I have not found those answers, and do not bother to do so as well, because I do not need answers to explain me love, I do not want reasons and introspection to love. Remember, I am in love and when you are in love, you do not care about the rest. So do I, all I care about is love! I love the pig outside my house, I love my family, I love the man I see everyday at the auto stand, I love myself and yes, I do not scruple in declaring that because loving yourself does not make you selfish or self obsessed, it just gives you more 'reasons' to love (to the ones who reason and love). With reasons or without, just love, because its all we need and it is all we can give to somebody!

So, I LOVE YOU!! and this is all I have. Will you accept and reciprocrate?

What Women Want?

Women's Day is long gone and to the disappointment of many - I neither celebrated the day with Blank Noise Project nor as a woman myself! I was too busy working at a Radio Station for the entire day. It was at the end of the day when I checked my cellphone and found a message from a 72 year old dynamic Environmentalist that said, "Aaj hi kyun? Har din hamara hoga! Happy Women's Day' " that left a smile on my face after a long day of patience and hard work(very little of work though! :P)

I have been celebrating Women's Day with flowers, cakes, hugs, wishes, just like I have been celebrating Valentines Day with my Mother and Granny for quite a few years now, but this time, there was a thought, a thought that made me feel celebrating a Women's Day is pointless if I consider myself a strong individual, a true woman, a feminist! A question that looked for an answer in every line I tried to record sitting in the suffocating studio, every time I sat to write a script, every time anybody tried to wish me and I heard many a girls say the cliched "Aaj to Women's Day hai bhai! Its my day!". The question that kept my mind on a constant run, that day, was strange. I kept seeking for something that may have many women wanting to ignore it and many not wanting to even listen and pay heed to it. Probably because if I asked them, Why is a Women's Day celebrated and not a Men's Day?, it would leave them straining their celebrating minds.

Alas! I found the answer amidst the evening pollution of Hazratganj to Gomti Nagar, sitting in the auto rickshaw, letting the dirty dusty wind blow into my hair and hit my face. The answer was plain and simple - because we have been suppressed. It is a woman who has to wear a veil in Islamic countries to cover herself or rather because a dumb male chauvinistic law says so, it is a woman whose right to self expression is denied, it is a woman who is a victim of rape, domestic violence, 'Sati', dowry, eve teasing, suffers as a widow, suffers a bad image and name if she decides to break the norms set for her and do what she wants to do, say what her head speaks! Hence, a day has been made so you celebrate being a WOMAN! ( read as VICTIM). Its like a day of holiday to a prisoner from the jail. Everybody stands up that day and proudly allege being a 'modern woman' - I work, I handle home, We women are doing industrially, economically well for ourselves, we are standing on our own feet, blah blah blah. Yet when we are back on the streets or rather back to reality, we hear 'Aye haye, kahaan chali madam, zara hamse bhi to baat karlo' at every nook and corner and if these nooks and corners are crowded, you are bound to be pinched, slapped, grabbed and felt.

And reactions? with strong excuses that leave you spell bound coming from these very self claimed 'ultra modern women of today' - 'aaj ki naari', the number of women who may even verbally react to Eve Teasing, is not even a handful. Most women ignore and try to run away from the loathly situation, many do not react because it happens so suddenly to them that they are left numb and shocked and some are scared of the consequences (consequences of speaking your mind??) that may follow their reaction! Not too sure about them but I am certainly shocked, disappointed and forced to wonder - hypocrites, are they??

Sad, extremely sad and depressing to come back to THIS hard truth! Even a Women's Day can do nothing to their inner strength, their impregnable individuality, their eons of confidence and spirit to move forward and be proud of themselves, because ultimately, if not you, but a Zahira has been raped, a 13 year old girl by a bureaucrat's nephew, Gaurav Shukla, Aman Bakshi and Saurabh Jain, the two brats also from influential families of Lucknow. And how funnily, the U.P. State Women's Commission is involved in bribing Zahira's father to 'shut up' about the case and have put the family in a 'protection cell' away from the media till the case is STILL being heard at the courts, because the Chairperson of the 'unregistered' commission which has forcibly taken possession of the case, Ranjana Bajpayee is known to Gaurav Shukla's uncle, former Samajwadi Party MLC, Arun Shanker Shukla aka Anna's family.

With a few friends, together we have formed TEAM 4, a youth association looking into local issues. When we wanted to meet Zahira and looked for her 'protection cell' for over five hours, Madhu Garg, Head of the UPSWC, refused. We all know the matter is fishy, yet nothing concrete is being done. Finally, TEAM 4 has come up with an online signature petition http://www.petitiononline.com/zahira/petition.htmlhttp://www.petitiononline.com/zahira/petition.html , hoping for it to go far away and justice be prevailed, not just for her but for many other WOMEN VICTIMS!

But still, what women want is funny! No wonder men have a hard time figuring out and understanding their own women and I may just join their league too. Such women, who say something and do something else, confuse me, annoy me and make me feel ashamed. But, I am still wondering - afterall, what do women want? what do I want?

Blogathon by Blank Noise Project

Woman's Day is around the corner and I am making all my special plans to celebrate this special day. I am a woman and there is nothing that I take more pride in than being a woman itself. A day to celebrate being 'ME' means way more than celebrating a Valentines Day. I am waiting for this Thursday, to celebrate the spirit of womanhood, and so is the Blank Noise Project.

They are starting a blog-athon on March 8th '2007, and take experiences of women who have been victims of eve teasing, street sexual harassment. I have been, you have been, every Indian woman has been a victim of it. Currently trying to work out a story for a newspaper on the same, it irritates me how so many women do not react to such acts of indecency and indignity. But Blank Noise Project wants to know, "When did you flip a situation so you could resist, when did you give back as hard as you got? When and how did you choose to confront? When did you become an Action Hero?"http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com/

So come up, speak up! Be proud of what you are and celebrate being a woman, celebrate being YOU!!